August 5, 2014
Today I received my official classification score and recommendation from the Minnesota Department of Corrections: 3 points, Level Two Minimum. It is about as not dangerous to society as a person can be, that’s me. Sentenced to 50 months I would now like to present a list of things our state deems less dangerous than a person with 6 grams of meth in their hands.
Criminal Sexual Conduct 3rd Degree to include: sex trafficking, using a minor in a sexual performance in pornography
Possession of said porn will get probation, but not prison.
You can solicit a child for sex and if you have done it before, you could face probation. Third time, you may receive up to 15 months in prison. That’s just sex.
Here are some other things you can do to avoid prison in Minnesota:
Financial exploitation of a vulnerable adult (up to $35,000)
Shoot a gun in a city bus, or at one
Run from a cop
Kidnap and release a person
Assault a person with bodily harm
Fail to affix tax stamp to heroin
Starve a retarded person
Negligently discharge an explosive
Shot to kill a person while hunting
Kill somebody with your car
Kill an unborn baby
Stalk a person (UP TO 3 TIMES!)
Assault a vulnerable adult
Bring a dangerous weapon on school property
Malicious punishment of a child causing substantial bodily harm
Violate a restraining order
Bring a gun to court
Start a building on fire with people in it
Beat your husband or wife (but only twice)
My favorite: Illegal molestation of human remains. You can do that four times before you see 12 months of prison.
Now some of these have various ways of being explained and I put my little spin on some. But they are all on the MN Sentencing Guidelines Grid and Offense Severity Table. I am in 8-1 Severity 8, Criminal History Score 1. Bottom of the box sentence because I spoke to the judge at sentencing about life and what I wanted to do with it. She liked me and gave me over 4 years to think.
[ANNE: The day after Vince sent me this post (and I was feeling skeptical about what he’d written) I saw an article in the Star Trib about a chiropractor who had pleaded guilty to raping a patient, and would be sentenced to no more than 4 years in prison.]