Your Art Here

I received an email from JPay, the company that sells email access to inmates’ families and friends.  I wrote a couple posts about them in July.  They were the new Department of Corrections vendor with the slick-looking website featuring people who looked totally thrilled! to be overpaying to send emails to their loved ones.

Jpay

JPay asked me to like them of Facebook.  As if!  Why would anyone want to broadcast that they had a family member in prison, and give free publicity to a company that was harvesting big profits from their misfortune?  There probably is a segment of the population who thinks it’s cool to have someone inside.

And now, JPay is having a holiday art contest.  The theme is “Season’s Greetings.”  Wow, that’s original.  Why not something really crazy like “Happy Holidays”?

Or “I’ll be home for Christmas—not.

Jpay1

Three winners will be chosen to receive up to $500 worth of prizes.  Up to $500 each or $500 total?  Let me guess, the prizes will be $10 gift cards for JPay emails.  That would work out to about 3 emails.

Here’s the rest of the message:

Jpay2

Can you believe it!?  You can use as many colors as you want!  I guess that means gang colors are okay.

The contest is only open to JPay customers “that are currently not incarcerated.”  I guess that means mothers, wives, kids, and anyone else left on the outside.  I can’t bring myself to go look at the contest rules.   It doesn’t say what will be done with the artwork, but since the submission email is Facebook@JPay.com, I guess they will be broadcasting that you have a loved one in prison for you, whether you like it or not.  Just another happy customer!

You can’t make this stuff up.  I was taken aback when I saw this in my in box.  I had hoped to never, ever have anything to do with the prison industrial complex again.

I could opt out of receiving future emails from them, but the absurdity of of a coloring contest from a prison vendor–not to mention the poor and vague wording–has provided me with so many laughs that now I’m kind of looking forward to what they’ll do for Martin Luther King Day and Valentine’s Day.

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