Telling It

It’s always difficult to transition back to current life after writing a series like the last one about camping in Wales and Mini extravaganza.

I love traveling, and then I love coming home—so I can start planning the next trip. When you read this, I will be in Chicago on my way to New Orleans from Minneapolis/St. Paul.  Live blogging a road trip sounds good, but I really just want to be there, in the moment.  My friends are coming all the way from Scotland, Oxford, and Wisconsin—I think it would be rude and weird to say, “Sorry guys, I’ve got to rush back to the hotel to write a blog post.”

But it’ll be fun to write about afterwards; travel writing is a way to enjoy the trip again.

A few updates, and back to the other theme of Breaking Free, my road trip with my son through the worlds of mass incarceration, addiction, and redemption.

I saw a notice for a lecture at the U of MN by Dr. Christopher Uggen, Martindale Chair and Distinguished McKnight Professor of Sociology and Law.  It quoted him, “We think of probation as a humane alternative to incarceration. It’s not.”  This is a concept I can’t emphasize often enough—just because you’re out of prison now, doesn’t mean you’re “over it.”

So I was a little concerned about Vince talking with Jewish Community Action, a local group advocating for prison reforms.  I had shared the blog with them, and they invited Vince and me to meet with them, which we did a few days ago.  It happened to be in the same building as Vince’s probation agents.  Would he be “triggered” by rehashing his story?  He still seemed uncomfortable in social situations sometimes.

We met with a young woman named Angela, who listened intently, asked questions, and filled us in on their plans. She talked about the changes they want made to sentencing, and Vince had some insights she hadn’t been aware of.  I can’t explain what he said, but the depth of knowledge you gain about these things by actually being inside is like a mini master’s degree program.

She talked about how they are trying to block the privatization of the prison in Appleton, Minnesota, which has been closed for years.  It wasn’t true, she said, that it would create a lot of jobs, or that conditions are better in private prisons.

“Word is,” Vince said, “among the prison population, that conditions are much better in the private prisons.  Better food, better paying work, more activities.”

This took her, and me, by surprise.  “I wonder if there’s a marketing campaign to spread that idea,” I suggested.  “After my experience with paying for phone time and email, I know those companies are good at promoting themselves.”  But how could anyone get access to the population inside?  I was Vince’s mom, and it had been maddeningly hard for me to communicate with him.

Vince talked about prison drugs (common) and rape (uncommon), MyPillow and Bob Barker products, not being able to vote, and his terms of probation.  It was very relaxed, and I give a lot of credit to Angela—turns out she was a former social worker.

Vince had told us he had to be home at 6:30.  Suddenly Angela said, “I just remembered that clock is slow …”  It was 6:21.  Vince jumped up, ran down the hall and waved at his agent, then bolted out the door.

Later, at home, he said, “I could have talked for hours.” I was so proud of him.  He’s doing so well.

He’s doing so well, in fact, that he announced he may move out soon.  Another ex offender lives in a three-bedroom house that has an opening.  The landlord is accepting of ex offenders.

I felt sad.  I know it’s normal for a 37-year-old man to want to live on his own, and I fully support that.  It was really rocky in the beginning when he came to live here.  We had been separated by miles and drugs and prison for so many years.  Now we get along fine.  I enjoy having him around.  He could do more cleaning, but no one’s perfect.

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