I got another email from my friends at JPay. They are so sentimental! They know that home is where the heart is, and they’re just like a family. And they have such a great sense of humor; it says, “there’s snowplace like home” – get it?

Oh, I almost missed it. In very small print at the bottom they mention that their terms of service changed the day before they sent this email. Could it be that they said all that other nice stuff to distract me from that legally-required notice?

I decided to check out the terms, even though I am no longer a customer (yeah!). The payment terms of service are over 2,200 words long. And that’s just for starters. There are email terms of service (1,700 words), video visit terms of service (1,850), and music player terms of service (1,870). There is a subpoena policy, a privacy policy, and a consumer protection policy.

All of which is to say, “if you buy anything from us, don’t bother complaining or trying to sue us, because we’ve got lawyers and we’ve thought of everything.”

I’m going to unsubscribe from JPay now. It’s been fun, but they’re just too easy of a target and they bring out a mean, sarcastic streak in me that I don’t want to feed.