I’m nearing the end of my Japan narrative. I returned from Japan in July. Obviously there’s so much to write about. Japan’s got it all—natural beauty, great food, art, cultural sites, and Tokyo Disney—in case you’d prefer to feel like you’re in Florida.
I’ve been reflecting on my relationship with my nephew, Charlie, and his little brother. I love kids. For many years I believed I would never be a grandmother. Vince was homeless, missing, incarcerated, or just not a great mating prospect. Even if he had had a child with someone, I figured he would recreate his own origin story, where he had zero contact with his paternal grandparents after age one. I’d be painfully cut off.
So when my younger brother had two kids, I was all in. And when you bond with kids from day one, it’s impossible to un-bond.
Then, to my relief and joy, Vince sobered up, got hitched and is dadding two young girls. I’m a grandma after all! They live over an hour away so that’s not easy, but I am a grandma. And a favorite aunt. And I work part-time at the YMCA childcare center. I have an abundance of kids in my life.
I have learned that love is not limited, it is exponential.
A few nights ago I attended a meeting with some other Jewish Community Action volunteers and folks from other organizations with the commissioner of the Minnesota Department of Corrections. We were led into a large meeting room which contained two mock prison cells. This must be where they carry out training for correctional officers. I knew they weren’t real. I have never been locked in a prison cell. But I still felt a pang of panic and repulsion.
I sat with my back to the cells. For better or worse, there were two women at the meeting who have children in prison, and they kind of commandeered the agenda to make their cases to the commissioner for their children being released. I totally understood their frustration. Their calls and letters are never answered. This was their big chance to talk directly to the guy at the top. But I am very glad I am no longer in their shoes and am able to do my small part to better the lives of all prisoners, not just my kid.
I think my ability to feel freedom, gratitude, and joy is strong because I have lived so many sad experiences.
After the meeting, I huddled with the two moms and said, “Just be very careful and don’t get yourselves banned. It’s easy to lose your temper with these people. I was banned for six months from visiting my son because a correctional officer baited me and I rose to it.” They looked shocked and I could see them trying to calm themselves down.
I also like to encourage everyone to explore their local sites of interest. You don’t have to go to Japan or the UK or Australia to find interesting stuff!
I came across this on one of my late-fall walks.
I had driven past the sign for the Ramsey County Poor Farm hundreds of times. It closed in 1923. Nearly 3,000 nameless souls who lived and worked here are buried in mass graves in this potters’ field.
Another exciting field trip was to St. Croix Falls, Wisconsin, where I joined my cousin for Thanksgiving. We drove past my aunt’s house, which was now sold and vacant. This was the scene at the house next door.
Yes, those are dead deer hanging up outside. I uttered a loud noise indicating disgust. My niece asked, “What’s the big deal? Haven’t you ever seen deer hanging before?” As a matter of fact I have, at Lynn’s place in Scotland. For some reason it seems to fit there, in the wilds of the highlands, but looks savage and out of place in suburban St. Croix Falls.
Our next stop was the fish hatchery, where I elicited groans of embarrassment from the nieces by saying too loudly, “The young guy feeding the fish is nice looking.”
Speaking of fish, my next post will follow Charlie and me as we visit Shimoda Aquarium.